My Victory in the Surrender
I feel drawn to share a story of how God and his
angels help me through a tough time with limiting beliefs. It begins with an opening
of a new job position.
My usual morning starts with prayer, meditation and
pulling a card from either the Arch Angel Oracle or the Osho Zen deck. I open myself to receive and be used by God
in any way He wants. My best friend is Jesus and I do most of my communication
with Him. I also have an angelic guide named Jonathon. In addition, Michael the Arch Angel and I are
pretty tight as well.
So a job position opens and I was drawn to apply.
But before I did, I prayed and meditated on the question, should I apply? My
answer was yes. However, apply with no
attachment to the outcome. Interesting caveat but it felt safe. Now I have a huge fear of interviews. Most of my interviews in my life were
disastrous. I am so easily intimidated
and become so nervous that I cannot think. When looking for the answer, I only
see white. I had the opportunity to take
a practice interview and thought that would be good. As I prepared for and up
to the day of the practice interview arrived, my nerves steadily
increased. My practice board was awful.
I played into my beliefs that I would fail and I did. Looking back, this was an important part of
the surrendering. When I failed and failed bad. What would I do? Quit? I seriously thought about it. I didn't know if I could whip this fear of
interviews that has plagued my entire adult life. So instead of quitting, I
went into prayer and meditation. I asked
God what's up. I followed your guidance and here I am unable to conquer my
fear. I am failing in the spot light of
my friends and colleagues'. I went into prayer and meditation continuing asking "what
is my next step". Then over the course of the next month, I was shown the
events and people in my life that created the fears and limiting beliefs. I discovered the root of this fear to be self
esteem and self worth. I didn't believe I deserved the
position. Then, one by one the
people and events appeared during prayer and meditation, during the normal activities
of the day, and during my sleep. Each time they appeared, I thanked Jesus and
sent His healing light to the people and events. I visualized us forgiving each other. I experienced the healing, watching as we
were submersed and surrounded with healing light. Then I would cut the
emotional cords attached to me from them and watch as they faded away. Each time an event would be presented, I
would go through this ritual. It was working;
I was feeling more positive that I could beat these limiting beliefs and more
importantly, I began believing I deserved this new position. Now the time for the real interview is
here. Armed with my new beliefs in
myself, I entered the interview. I saw
the stone faces and instantly became nervous and intimidated. I couldn't remember the answers that I had rehearsed. I only saw white. However, when I left that board something was
different. I didn't feel beaten or defeated,
a common reaction of the past. Instead, I felt anger at myself for allowing
this to happen. I was more determined to
beat this limiting belief no matter what it took. I was no longer in it for the position; I was
at war with a lifelong plague of fear. "Jesus,
what can do to improve my fear of speaking to an interview board", I
asked. Toastmasters popped into my head!
I knew this was the answer.
Toastmasters' meeting agenda is designed to give
everyone an opportunity to speak and to speak instantaneously. I learned how to prepare and practice my
interview answers in a way that I could remember them. Better preparation removed the nervousness
and gave me more confidence. With the
limiting beliefs that I grew up with healed and removed, it paved the way for
me to excel with the toastmaster training.
When another position was available, my interview performance was substantially
improved. I was offered and I accepted
the position.
In closing, I want to highlight important steps. I followed God's leading. When I failed, instead of giving up, I went
back to God, surrendering to His guidance. Allowing Him to work with me and
through me, even though the growth I received was at times very painful, I
continued to surrender to His guidance.
This wasn't easy for me at all. As I said, I wanted to quit several
times. It was all worth it in the end
when I so brilliantly succeeded in my last interview. That feeling of
exaltation was sublime. I thanked Jesus,
Michael and Jonathon over and over and over.
I learned a valuable lesson in following Jesus by faith. One scripture, gave me hope through this time.
Psalms 23:4 "Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me". (American Standard Version)
Although the path may at times be dark, "TRUST" and He will be a lamp
on your path, leading you into to a destination that will be greater in beauty than
you ever thought possible. I now have a
deep knowing of the power of God that before this was only an intellectual
knowledge. Surrendering to God on a
daily basis is the most powerful way to have a life filled with joy and
happiness.
Have you had a similar experience you would like to share? I would love to about it.
